Sandy Clarke
Licensed Professional Counsellor

For a long time, I did everything I could to avoid what I was feeling. I distracted myself, shut down difficult thoughts, pushed emotions aside, and kept my distance from situations – and people – that stirred anything uncomfortable. It gave the illusion of control, but underneath, the same patterns kept returning. I’d feel OK for a while, then find myself right back where I started.
 

Eventually, through my own experience in therapy, things began to shift. I came to see that avoiding discomfort only narrowed my life. The more I tried to suppress what was difficult, the more I lost touch – not just with others, but with myself. Even the idea of real connection felt uneasy, almost threatening.
 

Therapy really helped me, and it’s why I continue to prioritise my own therapy to this day. As a therapist, I believe it’s vital to do the same work I invite others into – to stay present, reflective, and honest with myself. Because when we turn towards what we’ve been avoiding, something begins to open. And that’s often where real change starts.

 

Where we hurt is where we care

 

In 2014, while working as a journalist, I met Tom Rennie – a Second World War veteran who was part of the Normandy Landings in 1944. I spent a total of six hours in conversation with Tom over a few months and was astounded by his cheerful and optimistic outlook on life after all he’d lived through.
 

He, and others like him, was living proof that humans have the capacity and the strength to overcome the most brutal of realities. Sometimes, we need someone to equip us with the right tools and help us find our inner strength to deal with what’s going on in our lives. From that point, we can start to build a meaningful life.

 

When I asked Tom, “How did you deal with everything you’ve been through, and how were you able to remain optimistic during those years?” He replied, “You have to find something worth living for, and then you have to find the courage to live – no matter what.”

 

How I approach therapy can be summed up in Tom’s reply. Life is often hard, and sometimes it can feel downright unfair and, at times, unbearable. And yet, despite all the difficult moments: the losses, the heartaches, the insecurities, and uncertainties, you’re still standing. Perhaps at this point you might feel like you’re just barely coping – I understand how that feels – and you just want whatever it is you’re going through to stop, so that you can live your life how you want to live it. 

 

Struggles are part of being human. We all have our struggles; no-one is exempt from that. No-one can “fix” you, because you’re not broken - perhaps you just need help to get back on track. That could mean anything from trying to understand yourself better to dealing with some really tough thoughts, feelings and emotions, and everything else in between. Maybe you need to figure out where you are in life, and in which direction you’d like to head. There are countless reasons why people see a therapist, and none of them is because there’s “something wrong” with the person. We simply reach points when we need help to navigate issues or problems, and develop the tools to build a life that's meaningful and engaging.

 

As mentioned earlier, I can’t fix your problems – nobody can. What I can do is work with you to figure out what matters to you, and what holds you back from living the kind of life you want to lead. Your past might have shaped you to this point, but it needn’t define who you are from this point on. From the first therapy session, you get to choose a new path for yourself, and it’ll be my privilege to help you map it out.