Sandy Clarke
Licensed Professional Counsellor

For a long time, I tried to keep difficult feelings at a distance. I'd distract myself, push aside thoughts I didn't want to face, or withdraw from people and situations that made me uncomfortable. Sometimes that seemed to work, at least for a while. Yet I found myself returning to the same difficulties, often without understanding why.
 

My own experience of therapy helped me look at these patterns more closely. I began to question some of the assumptions I'd made about myself and others, and to recognise how my ways of coping had shaped my relationships and the choices I made. There were things I hadn't wanted to acknowledge, as well as things I'd never really thought to question. Making sense of them wasn't always comfortable, but it changed how I understood myself.
 

I continue to prioritise my own therapy because I believe that, as a therapist, it's important to remain open to examining my own experiences, assumptions and limitations. I also know what it's like to be on the other side of the conversation, trying to put something difficult into words and hoping the person listening will take the time to understand.

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Where we hurt is where we care

 

In 2014, while working as a journalist, I met Tom Rennie – a Second World War veteran who was part of the Normandy Landings in 1944. I spent a total of six hours in conversation with Tom over a few months and was astounded by his cheerful and optimistic outlook on life after all he’d lived through.
 

He, and others like him, showed me that people have the capacity to face even the most difficult realities. At times, we need support to find the strength to respond to what’s happening in our lives, and from there, begin to build something meaningful.
 

When I asked Tom how he had managed to remain optimistic, he said, “You have to find something worth living for, and then you have to find the courage to live, no matter what.”
 

That perspective continues to shape how I approach therapy. Life can be difficult, and at times it can feel overwhelming or unfair. There are losses, uncertainties, and periods where simply getting through the day takes effort. You might feel as though you’re just coping, or unsure how to move forward.

 

Experiences of grief, anxiety, relationship difficulties or uncertainty about the future can leave us questioning things we once took for granted, including how we see ourselves and what we want from life.

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In therapy, we can explore how you're experiencing these difficulties and what they mean to you. This might involve looking at assumptions you've lived with for years, how your relationships have shaped your understanding of yourself, or the choices and limitations you're facing. Sometimes there are difficult realities to acknowledge, alongside possibilities we haven't yet considered.

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I'm a counsellor based in Kuala Lumpur, offering online psychotherapy to adults in Malaysia and internationally. We can begin with whatever has brought you to therapy, whether that's a particular difficulty you're facing or a more general sense of wanting to understand yourself and your life a little better.